My writing reaches a varied scope of readers from the young to the experienced at life and the single to the married for a long time. Gay, straight, many different races and ethnic backgrounds. People who are well traveled and people who are homebound read my blog. So, how many of you have ever been blessed to find someone who came into your life as a friend and then that friend turned into a really good friend and then you and your friend w/o even knowing how, morphed into a relationship where you began to care for each other as more than just friends?
I have been blessed to have had this FINALLY happen to me. How does this happen? I have no idea. It was certainly not either of our intentions to be anything more than friends, but somehow it has beautifully blossomed into something so much more.
I can't explain it and why should I have to?
I have someone who cares for me. Someone who worries about me. Someone who is on board w/ me being me. Someone who thinks having blue hair and being sassy are turn ons. Someone who teases me for being very sentimental and sappy, but is glad that I am so since it's to their benefit. Someone who from day one has had only one intention and that is to get to know me from the inside out. Someone who speaks of inner beauty being what really only matters and who sees me as beautiful and tells me I am beautiful everyday. Someone who loves my mind and thinks I'm smart and that I come up w/ things that are ingenious. Someone who appreciates the small things and thinks that I am sweet, tho I'm only being me.
I could keep going on. We make a great pair. I have deep down lasting joy like I have really never experienced long term. I have a lot of s**t that I am facing financially, but because I am not alone and have someone so wonderful by my side supporting me every step of the way, I am able to face each day w/ a smile. I am certain that in the not too distant future we will be making things official and I will be blogging my announcement right here so inquiring minds... be on the lookout. We're not in a hurry (well, maybe I am a little), but we both want to take our time, REALLY get to know each other and make sure we are making the right decision before we make any big decisions.
Trust me... I will be happy to change my relationship status on Facebook to "In a Relationship"!!!!!
Stay tuned inquiring minds,
~A
Friday, August 22, 2014
Monday, August 4, 2014
Motivational Mondays Weeks 26, 27, 28 ; Switching it up for a bit
Hello Guys and Dolls!
Well, you read the title correctly. This blog incorporates not 1, not 2, but 3 weeks of Motivational Mondays. I know, I know. Save the blogger bashing for someone else.. ha ha. I am beating myself up well and good enough, thank you!
At this stage in the game I plan on continuing w/ my blog I just think that it should take on a different aspect--one that represents my life now as my life has evolved quite a bit since Week 1.
I'm not going to say that all of the sudden I am hunky-dorey about everything and am comfortable w/ everything and so stepping out of my comfort zone is no longer a problem.. let's face it..we all, myself included, have things that we have to do or should do that are out of our comfort zones and daily we make choices to stay in our cocoons where everything is safe and we feel laid back and mabe even a lil lazy or we CHOOSE to make a change..even if it's just for that day.
At the beginning of the year, getting out of my comfort zones at any capacity was a struggle as you can probably tell by some of the most menial items to conquer on my to do list. Yes, it is uncomfortable for me to go even a DAY w/o using color in my world. I write with it, I wear it on my face and my clothes are bright, my accessories are cheery not drab, and I refused to take a multi-vitamin until the day I spotted a bottle of bright, purple gumball-like chewables on sale at the Medicine Shoppe.
Most of what I have left are things that have to do more w/ getting me out of the house and blessing others...which is getting me out of my comfort zone as I am a homebody due to 2 facts: 1. I have no one to hang w/ regularly and 2. I'm broke
So, what direction am I going to take my blog for the future, you may be asking? Well, all I can say is that I feel that my blog should be representing my current journey and since it no longer does that's why the changes need to be made. I hope that what I have to offer will still resonate and touch at least one soul and we can each one, reach one.
So, let me round out Motivational Mondays w/ my last accomplishments on my list of 52:
Week 26 # 8: Go one day w/o getting on the internet
This was surprisingly easier than I imagined. I forgot what it was like and how preoccupied one can be (hence my falling behind in my blogging) when my time became entertained w/ a new and budding relationship. I think there was actually a point where I didn't get on the internet or even **GASP** FACEBOOK for a week!
Week 27 #49: Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
I have a GPS. I am not sure if it's that I am directionally challenged or if it really just boils down to I am PETRIFIED of being lost. So, as I was leaving my job a few weeks ago, not knowing until hours later it was my last day, I decided to take a different route home and see where it lead. Well, it doesn't do me any good now, but here I was SOOOO close to my one Dr. going this route and all along I had been literally going almost in a complete circle out of my way by not stepping out of my comfort zone to see what would happen if I went right instead of left. Hopefully I will remember that and there will be a lesson learned for next time.
Week 28 #26: Try a new seafood
This was also a wonderful surprise. I bought a mix of chopped seafood ready for like soup etc and in it was shrimp, mussels, squid and clams. I have only ever tasted shrimp so I was trying 3 new seafoods. The mix was a steal at under 4 buckaroos and I consulted w/, who else, but my mom to figure out the best way to prepare these (hopefully) delectable new delights. We decided that steaming them w/ rice or using the crockpot and adding some broth would probably be the best choices for a first time go at these new flavors.
I decided to use my handy dandy steamer and steam the brown rice and seafood combo together. When it was finished it smelled divine. I mixed it together, placed it in a bowl, melted some butter and cream cheese over it and let's just say I will be having that at least twice a week. It made 2 servings and the total cost about $5.00 That thrills me to pieces since I have an expensive palette that loves seafood but can't afford to have it as often as I would like...I now have an option that allows me to treat myself w/o breaking the bank.
On a scale of 1-10 these would all be 1's They didn't really involve me being very uncomfortable at all. Did I try something new and switch things up a bit and step out of my comfort zone? Sure, but it ended up being an amazing experience.
So, inquiring minds. I will keep you posted and try to do so weekly, however I believe that w/ the direction my life is going right now strapping myself down to only ONE certain day of the week is no longer an option for me. I believe weekly blogging still will be and that is indeed my goal, however, I just know that I can't stay accountable to just one particular day of the week.
Stay tuned for what I have in store. If it isn't motivational, insightful, or profound it's at least sure to be random, oozing of hints that the writer is more than slightly A.D.D, vaguely comical, everyday applicable or entertaining.
Thank you for joining me on my journey and I hope that you will continue w/ me onto the next phase!
Later loyal gators,
~A
Just 24 more to go... Here's what's left:
1. Do not sit in the back row at church.
2. Do not sit alone in the back row at church.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
4. Audition for a stage show.
5. Go out to eat alone.
6. Do not eat in bed for one day.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
9. Post NO STATUS UPDATES on Fb for a week.
10. Write a very personal song and share it with someone.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
12. Sit in a chair instead of being on the comfy sofa for one week of therapy.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
15. Divulge something personal I have never told anyone before.
16.Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
17. Go out to eat with someone (non family) and not ask to be hidden away in a booth somewhere.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
19. No texting (except my therapist) for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
21. Hug a stranger.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert to share at work.
24. Go one week eating nothing from a can.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
28. Iron clothes for an hour straight
29. No FB for a week.
30. Go one week w/o eating leftovers
31. Wear something leg revealing
32. Go to work one day with no make-up on
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
40. Wear my rings on opposite fingers
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
44. Use no emoticons for one week
45. Use no abbreviations or special characters when I journal for a day
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Work on broadening my circle of friends
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Eat in public in front of a stranger
52. Eat fruit everyday for a week
Well, you read the title correctly. This blog incorporates not 1, not 2, but 3 weeks of Motivational Mondays. I know, I know. Save the blogger bashing for someone else.. ha ha. I am beating myself up well and good enough, thank you!
At this stage in the game I plan on continuing w/ my blog I just think that it should take on a different aspect--one that represents my life now as my life has evolved quite a bit since Week 1.
I'm not going to say that all of the sudden I am hunky-dorey about everything and am comfortable w/ everything and so stepping out of my comfort zone is no longer a problem.. let's face it..we all, myself included, have things that we have to do or should do that are out of our comfort zones and daily we make choices to stay in our cocoons where everything is safe and we feel laid back and mabe even a lil lazy or we CHOOSE to make a change..even if it's just for that day.
At the beginning of the year, getting out of my comfort zones at any capacity was a struggle as you can probably tell by some of the most menial items to conquer on my to do list. Yes, it is uncomfortable for me to go even a DAY w/o using color in my world. I write with it, I wear it on my face and my clothes are bright, my accessories are cheery not drab, and I refused to take a multi-vitamin until the day I spotted a bottle of bright, purple gumball-like chewables on sale at the Medicine Shoppe.
Most of what I have left are things that have to do more w/ getting me out of the house and blessing others...which is getting me out of my comfort zone as I am a homebody due to 2 facts: 1. I have no one to hang w/ regularly and 2. I'm broke
So, what direction am I going to take my blog for the future, you may be asking? Well, all I can say is that I feel that my blog should be representing my current journey and since it no longer does that's why the changes need to be made. I hope that what I have to offer will still resonate and touch at least one soul and we can each one, reach one.
So, let me round out Motivational Mondays w/ my last accomplishments on my list of 52:
Week 26 # 8: Go one day w/o getting on the internet
This was surprisingly easier than I imagined. I forgot what it was like and how preoccupied one can be (hence my falling behind in my blogging) when my time became entertained w/ a new and budding relationship. I think there was actually a point where I didn't get on the internet or even **GASP** FACEBOOK for a week!
Week 27 #49: Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
I have a GPS. I am not sure if it's that I am directionally challenged or if it really just boils down to I am PETRIFIED of being lost. So, as I was leaving my job a few weeks ago, not knowing until hours later it was my last day, I decided to take a different route home and see where it lead. Well, it doesn't do me any good now, but here I was SOOOO close to my one Dr. going this route and all along I had been literally going almost in a complete circle out of my way by not stepping out of my comfort zone to see what would happen if I went right instead of left. Hopefully I will remember that and there will be a lesson learned for next time.
Week 28 #26: Try a new seafood
This was also a wonderful surprise. I bought a mix of chopped seafood ready for like soup etc and in it was shrimp, mussels, squid and clams. I have only ever tasted shrimp so I was trying 3 new seafoods. The mix was a steal at under 4 buckaroos and I consulted w/, who else, but my mom to figure out the best way to prepare these (hopefully) delectable new delights. We decided that steaming them w/ rice or using the crockpot and adding some broth would probably be the best choices for a first time go at these new flavors.
I decided to use my handy dandy steamer and steam the brown rice and seafood combo together. When it was finished it smelled divine. I mixed it together, placed it in a bowl, melted some butter and cream cheese over it and let's just say I will be having that at least twice a week. It made 2 servings and the total cost about $5.00 That thrills me to pieces since I have an expensive palette that loves seafood but can't afford to have it as often as I would like...I now have an option that allows me to treat myself w/o breaking the bank.
On a scale of 1-10 these would all be 1's They didn't really involve me being very uncomfortable at all. Did I try something new and switch things up a bit and step out of my comfort zone? Sure, but it ended up being an amazing experience.
So, inquiring minds. I will keep you posted and try to do so weekly, however I believe that w/ the direction my life is going right now strapping myself down to only ONE certain day of the week is no longer an option for me. I believe weekly blogging still will be and that is indeed my goal, however, I just know that I can't stay accountable to just one particular day of the week.
Stay tuned for what I have in store. If it isn't motivational, insightful, or profound it's at least sure to be random, oozing of hints that the writer is more than slightly A.D.D, vaguely comical, everyday applicable or entertaining.
Thank you for joining me on my journey and I hope that you will continue w/ me onto the next phase!
Later loyal gators,
~A
Just 24 more to go... Here's what's left:
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
16.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert to share at work.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Eat in public in front of a stranger
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Motivational Mondays Weeks 24 and 25: No FB for a week and No microwave for a day
25 weeks ago on a quest in 2014 to face some fears and mainly move out of my comfort zones I began Motivational Mondays. I'm hoping to grow in many areas by embarking on this journey. I have heard that your amount of growth is directly related to how uncomfortable you are willing to get. Join me this year as I get uncomfortable and get up off my duff.
So, on week 24 & 25 I decided to tackle #29 & 38 : No FB for a week and No microwave for a day
I didn't think it was possible to do either of these with any sort of ease or finesse but I found both of these to be easily achieved and that was only because I have been involved in the beginning of a relationship and talking and texting everyday, all the time hence I got behind on my blog dear readers..Sorry! Having this amazing distraction has been quite wonderful and makes at least me, look at my world right now very differently.
The colors of my world right now are brighter and my heart beat I can actually feel most of the time. I smile more than I have for most of my life and my whole lookout on my future seems brighter than I ever imagined and we haven't even met yet.
As a matter of fact, this is probably the 1st time in 2 weeks that I have even touched my laptop.
I pulled off no microwave for a day by coming home and having ice cream for dinner and no FB like I said by being preoccupied with who I hope to be my future.
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" These both rate a 2.
Just 37 more to go... Here's what's left:
1. Do not sit in the back row at church.
2. Do not sit alone in the back row at church.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
4. Audition for a stage show.
5. Go out to eat alone.
6. Do not eat in bed for one day.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
9. Post NO STATUS UPDATES on Fb for a week.
10. Write a very personal song and share it with someone.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
12. Sit in a chair instead of being on the comfy sofa for one week of therapy.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
15. Divulge something personal I have never told anyone before.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
17. Go out to eat with someone (non family) and not ask to be hidden away in a booth somewhere.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
19. No texting (except my therapist) for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
21. Hug a stranger.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert to share at work.
24. Go one week eating nothing from a can.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
28. Iron clothes for an hour straight
29. No FB for a week.
30. Go one week w/o eating leftovers
31. Wear something leg revealing
32. Go to work one day with no make-up on
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
40. Wear my rings on opposite fingers
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
44. Use no emoticons for one week
45. Use no abbreviations or special characters when I journal for a day
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Work on broadening my circle of friends
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Eat in public in front of a stranger
52. Eat fruit everyday for a week
So, on week 24 & 25 I decided to tackle #29 & 38 : No FB for a week and No microwave for a day
I didn't think it was possible to do either of these with any sort of ease or finesse but I found both of these to be easily achieved and that was only because I have been involved in the beginning of a relationship and talking and texting everyday, all the time hence I got behind on my blog dear readers..Sorry! Having this amazing distraction has been quite wonderful and makes at least me, look at my world right now very differently.
The colors of my world right now are brighter and my heart beat I can actually feel most of the time. I smile more than I have for most of my life and my whole lookout on my future seems brighter than I ever imagined and we haven't even met yet.
As a matter of fact, this is probably the 1st time in 2 weeks that I have even touched my laptop.
I pulled off no microwave for a day by coming home and having ice cream for dinner and no FB like I said by being preoccupied with who I hope to be my future.
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" These both rate a 2.
So, @ the end of the 25th week of Motivational Mondays I am proud to say I have achieved my goal and can cross it off the list.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert to share at work.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Eat in public in front of a stranger
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Motivational Mondays Week 23: Work on broadening my circle of friends
23 weeks ago on a quest in 2014 to face some fears and mainly move out of my comfort zones I began Motivational Mondays. I'm hoping to grow in many areas by embarking on this journey. I have heard that your amount of growth is directly related to how uncomfortable you are willing to get. Join me this year as I get uncomfortable and get up off my duff.
So, on week 23 I decided to tackle #48 : Work on broadening my circle of friends
This is something that I haven't even THOUGHT of doing until it came up in therapy. I needed to get more friends. I have AMAZING friends, but I also have very busy friends who are all busy w/ spouses and or kids or both who just don't have time to "hang out" especially on a regular basis which I do have the time for. It's hard to meet people, especially other single people who have the kind of time that I have time to be able to hang out with or to call when times get rough... to be a sounding board...just to have someone to listen to. The last time that I added anyone to my circle of friends was 2 years ago when Anni was added and Bridget was added. I signed up for these local "meet-ups", but haven't gone to any yet... it's hard... but I did meet someone online and she seems rather amazing. We have a lot in common, but she is shy and has been REALLY hut bad in the past so trust is a big issue for her and she hasn't let anyone in her life for the last 4 years. We do talk everyday either on the phone (which I just got her number last Friday) or we text. I am anxious to meet and show her that I am not the hurting type of person.. but am not rushing her. And Patience is something that I need a lesson in anyway so now I am REALLY getting one! I will keep you posted as things move along. I've been talking to her about 6 weeks - give or take-and hope she trusts to meet me soon.. like by the end of the month...I think 8 weeks is enough time to prove myself.. but still not pushing it.
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" This rates a 7.
Just 39 more to go... Here's what's left:
1. Do not sit in the back row at church.
2. Do not sit alone in the back row at church.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
4. Audition for a stage show.
5. Go out to eat alone.
6. Do not eat in bed for one day.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
9. Post NO STATUS UPDATES on Fb for a week.
10. Write a very personal song and share it with someone.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
12. Sit in a chair instead of being on the comfy sofa for one week of therapy.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
15. Divulge something personal I have never told anyone before.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
17. Go out to eat with someone (non family) and not ask to be hidden away in a booth somewhere.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
19. No texting (except my therapist) for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
21. Hug a stranger.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert to share at work.
24. Go one week eating nothing from a can.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
28. Iron clothes for an hour straight
29. No FB for a week.
30. Go one week w/o eating leftovers
31. Wear something leg revealing
32. Go to work one day with no make-up on
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
40. Wear my rings on opposite fingers
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
44. Use no emoticons for one week
45. Use no abbreviations or special characters when I journal for a day
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Work on broadening my circle of friends
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Eat in public in front of a stranger
52. Eat fruit everyday for a week
So, on week 23 I decided to tackle #48 : Work on broadening my circle of friends
This is something that I haven't even THOUGHT of doing until it came up in therapy. I needed to get more friends. I have AMAZING friends, but I also have very busy friends who are all busy w/ spouses and or kids or both who just don't have time to "hang out" especially on a regular basis which I do have the time for. It's hard to meet people, especially other single people who have the kind of time that I have time to be able to hang out with or to call when times get rough... to be a sounding board...just to have someone to listen to. The last time that I added anyone to my circle of friends was 2 years ago when Anni was added and Bridget was added. I signed up for these local "meet-ups", but haven't gone to any yet... it's hard... but I did meet someone online and she seems rather amazing. We have a lot in common, but she is shy and has been REALLY hut bad in the past so trust is a big issue for her and she hasn't let anyone in her life for the last 4 years. We do talk everyday either on the phone (which I just got her number last Friday) or we text. I am anxious to meet and show her that I am not the hurting type of person.. but am not rushing her. And Patience is something that I need a lesson in anyway so now I am REALLY getting one! I will keep you posted as things move along. I've been talking to her about 6 weeks - give or take-and hope she trusts to meet me soon.. like by the end of the month...I think 8 weeks is enough time to prove myself.. but still not pushing it.
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" This rates a 7.
So, @ the end of the 22rd week of Motivational Mondays I am proud to say I have achieved my goal and can cross it off the list.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert to share at work.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
29. No FB for a week.
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Eat in public in front of a stranger
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Motivational Mondays Weeks 21 & 22: Do not sit in the back row at church and wear something leg revealing
22 weeks ago on a quest in 2014 to face some fears and mainly move out of my comfort zones I began Motivational Mondays. I'm hoping to grow in many areas by embarking on this journey. I have heard that your amount of growth is directly related to how uncomfortable you are willing to get. Join me this year as I get uncomfortable and get up off my duff.
So, on weeks 21&22 I decided to tackle #1 and #31 : Do not sit in the back row at church and wear something leg revealing.
I'm makin this short and sweet... not much material for you inquiring minds but I just want to relax and this needs to be done. I went to a home church so there are no rows just chairs in a circle and it's difficult to keep space between you and others and stay in your bubble. So, therefore there was no sitting in the back row... I was more kinda center. Not bad at all.
Wear something leg revealing... so I got these crazy pj top and bottoms. the bottoms are purple and black zebra striped with a purple top w/ 2 hears that are purple and black zebra stripes and the bottoms are about capri length.. this was huge for me.. I haven't shown my legs in YEARS! no matter how hot I get I stay covered.. I know you all just exhaled a huge sigh of collective relief =) This was not as bad as I thought it w/b either considering I wore the outfit to therapy and not just out to get the mail. With my legs waxed, from the knee down.. I guess not too bad.. no cankles.. so I am very lucky in that sense. But epic fail on the luck of everyone else who has to unavoid the view this summer! hahahhahahahha
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" These both rate a 1.
Just 38 more to go... Here's what's left:
1. Do not sit in the back row at church.
2. Do not sit alone in the back row at church.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
4. Audition for a stage show.
5. Go out to eat alone.
6. Do not eat in bed for one day.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
9. Post NO STATUS UPDATES on Fb for a week.
10. Write a very personal song and share it with someone.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
12. Sit in a chair instead of being on the comfy sofa for one week of therapy.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
15. Divulge something personal I have never told anyone before.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
17. Go out to eat with someone (non family) and not ask to be hidden away in a booth somewhere.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
19. No texting (except my therapist) for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
21. Hug a stranger.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert from scratch to share at work.
24. Go one week eating nothing from a can.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
28. Iron clothes for an hour straight
29. No FB for a week.
30. Go one week w/o eating leftovers
31. Wear something leg revealing
32. Go to work one day with no make-up on
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
40. Wear my rings on opposite fingers
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
44. Use no emoticons for one week
45. Use no abbreviations or special characters when I journal for a day
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Have lunch in the cafeteria at work for 1 week
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Consume 20 grams of protein everyday for a week
52. Eat fruit everyday for a week
So, on weeks 21&22 I decided to tackle #1 and #31 : Do not sit in the back row at church and wear something leg revealing.
I'm makin this short and sweet... not much material for you inquiring minds but I just want to relax and this needs to be done. I went to a home church so there are no rows just chairs in a circle and it's difficult to keep space between you and others and stay in your bubble. So, therefore there was no sitting in the back row... I was more kinda center. Not bad at all.
Wear something leg revealing... so I got these crazy pj top and bottoms. the bottoms are purple and black zebra striped with a purple top w/ 2 hears that are purple and black zebra stripes and the bottoms are about capri length.. this was huge for me.. I haven't shown my legs in YEARS! no matter how hot I get I stay covered.. I know you all just exhaled a huge sigh of collective relief =) This was not as bad as I thought it w/b either considering I wore the outfit to therapy and not just out to get the mail. With my legs waxed, from the knee down.. I guess not too bad.. no cankles.. so I am very lucky in that sense. But epic fail on the luck of everyone else who has to unavoid the view this summer! hahahhahahahha
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" These both rate a 1.
So, @ the end of the 22nd week of Motivational Mondays I am proud to say I have achieved my goal and can cross it off the list.
Just 38 more to go... Here's what's left:
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert from scratch to share at work.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
29. No FB for a week.
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Have lunch in the cafeteria at work for 1 week
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Consume 20 grams of protein everyday for a week
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
How free are we really in America?
I recently had the unfortunate experience of being locked up against my will in a psychiatric institution. Here are the series of events and please feel free to tell me if you see there is more than ONE thing wrong with this situation or if you totally agree w/ them and why.
On Wed. May 21 I went to Holy Spirit hospital to look into an intensive outpatient program for more intense therapy after learning that my unemployment checks would no longer be coming in the mail leaving me w/ ZERO income. During the course of the inpatient program you meet w/ various therapists for various activities and you meet w/ your psychiatrist (med Dr). In therapy 1, I was pulled to meet w/ mine and during the course of our conversation she happened to ask me if I was taking the 10 mg of prescribed Valium still at bedtime to help me sleep. Being the honest person that I try and claim to be I told her that over the course of the prior 5 days I had exceeded the recommended dosage, but had been fine. Walked, talked, drove, was in church, had witnesses blah, blah, blah. She told me that she could no longer prescribe it for me and I was basically like "DUH" I could see that coming. All seemed fine and I left and went back to group.
At 2nd group (just as at 1st) I had alerted the therapist that I would not be returning for the afternoon as I had important appointments that needed to be taken care of.. besides I had not even committed to the program.. but anyway.. I left at lunch to go about my afternoon errands and a few hours later received a call from a number not familiar to me. I let it go to VM and then I listened to the VM and it was my med Dr telling me it was urgent that I get in touch w/ her. I called her right away and didn't get her so I left a message. 13 minutes later she returns my call to tell me that she was doing a "302" on me and that I had to get to the hospital by 4 p.m. or the cops were going to come pick me up and bring me in.
Now, for those of you who are not familiar w/ a "302" it is when "someone has observed your conduct and feels that you present a clear danger to yourself or to other people. W/in so many hours you will be examined by a physician. If the Dr finds that you do not need treatment you will be returned to whatever place you desire w/in reason. If the Dr agrees that you are mentally ill and clearly in danger of harming yourself or someone else, you will be [involuntarily] admitted by the county administrator for a period of treatment UP TO 120 hours" (=5days). Then under my Bill of Rights it states:
"If you have been involuntarily committed in accordance w/ civil court proceedings and you are not receiving treatment, and you are not dangerous to yourself or others, and you feel you can survive safely in the community, you have the right to be discharged from the facility."
Here's a few things that are VERY wrong w/ this situation and how my freedoms as an American citizen were infringed upon. 1st... according to the 14th amendment the individual MUST BE EXHIBITING behavior that is a danger to themselves or others in order to be held. The hold must be for evaluation only and a court order must be received for more than very short term treatment or hospital (typically NO LONGER than 72 hours)------------if I was exhibiting behavior that made me a danger to myself or others why did the Dr let me leave her office to begin with? AND if I was a danger to myself or others why did she instruct me to operate a motor vehicle to bring myself into the ER? Plus, I was never given a 72 hour option it was 120 hours or longer.
Next is my 5th amendment violation. I was not free to remain silent. When you remain silent they use it against you (as per my psychiatrist when I was in the hospital) as proof of mental illness and then can incarcerate you involuntarily for a longer period of time. W/ each time they go back to court the time frame increases and be increased to 12 months and you have NO RIGHTS TO STOP IT!
* They were supposed to provide me w/ transportation by law to the ER. I was not to be transporting myself.
* A Dr MUST examine me in the ER. Never happened. He came in, sat on the plastic cot and said that he agreed w/ my med Dr and they would be admitting me.
* I received no papers on the "White Paper" court order that I was to receive
* I was not given the right to an individual examiner. There are 2 examiners and by law I have the right to choose one of them, meaning I could have chosen my own therpist and was denied that right
* For and EMERGENCY admission by law the Dr is to have OBSERVED MY ACTIONS FIRST HAND which she did not. She was merely going by what I had told her AND I had NOT USED that day... just the 5 days prior
* I was to have a court appointed attorney and I never got one
* In order to involuntarily commit they have to have reason to believe that I cannot care for myself, be safe in the community or will die w/in 30 days if not admitted.
* It was reported that I threw my phone at the check-in nurse when in all actuality I simply dropped it onto a chair from about 4 inches high up after i was advised I would not be allowed to have it while incarcerated. People w/ power can make your life miserable if they want to and there's nothing you can do about it and of course who are they going to believe? The nurse or the "crazy"person?
So, how free are we REALLY in the great US of A? From what I experienced your freedoms can be yanked so fast it will make your head spin, turn your world topsy-turvy and make you feel more depressed than you felt when you were free. If you didn't want to die before you were incarcerated you would after being locked away.
When you are "302'd" and you arrive at the ER this was my experience. I was taken back to the looney room. It's not padded, but it has a plastic cot-like "bed" in the middle of the room bolted down w/ a thin "mattress" and a sheet and blanket on top. There are 2 security cameras to watch you, a red buzzer when you need someone and a very narrow glass in the door by which you have to voice your needs.. mabe 3 inches wide. When you arrive a security officer brings you paper scrubs and tells you to change into them and ONLY if you ask will they escort you to the bathroom to have privacy to change, otherwise it is expected that you change in the looney room w/ an open glass on the door and 2 security cameras watching you. After they have taken your belongings and clothes they also take your shoes away from you. I was fortunate enough that my guard let me have pen and paper to which I could journal the whole time I was in there lest I REALLY go bonkers on someone and was allowed my phone.. even charging it for me about 2 in the morning.
They come in and they take your vitals. My BP was 158/98 since I was in distress it's no wonder. No one told me I had to pee in a cup but they did take 3 vials of blood which I am happy to report [and which should have been proof] there was nothing wrong w/ my blood except my white cells were slightly elevated and they concurred that was from stress...HELLO that should tell you right there I don't need to be here. If I was committing a slow suicide, which is what they were alleging then there w/b drugs in my system.. dontcha think?
I sat calmly writing for hours on end. When I finally did get up to be escorted to the bathroom no one advised me that "Hey, we need some of that in a cup" until about 15 minutes after I was escorted back to my room. I know this is TMI but I have to tell to get my point across. I have a tank for a bladder and I don't drink nearly enough liquids so generally i go to the bathroom 2-3 times a day and that's it.. so when the nurse came in to tell me she needed me to pee in a cup I told her it was going to be a long wait.
A few hours more passed and a crotchety old nurse came in advising me that I had been there for 6 hours and had not given them a urine sample and I advised her that if her staff had done their job and told me that they could have had it hours ago. She then proceeds to tell me if I don't pee in a cup they are giving me a catheter and I proceed to tell her that I will not be getting a catheter and I'd like to see her get my legs uncrossed to give me one.
Finally one of the staff from crisis comes in w/ 3 cups of water... ICE WATER... I DON'T drink ice water it make me feel icky and I hate the way it feels, it bothers me. Ask anyone who knows me.. my water is room temp and if its too cold in a bottle I will microwave it. So I tell her this and she tells me she not running a restaurant. I wait for the ice to melt and water to warm and its just not happening so I proceed to scoop all the ice out of all 3 cups and put it on the bed... yes I was being defiant.. I was beyond pissed at this whole ordeal! I drank the water and then when I STILL didn't have to go I rubbed all the ice cubes left on the bed over my face, neck, arms, and back trying to make myself cold enough to have to go to the bathroom for these creepers. Finally after that and walking for what seemed to be about 20 minutes I buzzed for them to escort me to the bathroom w/ my cup in hand (can I just say YUCK?)
The rest was a waiting game until a little after 7 a.m. [mind you I have not eaten since Tuesday nor have I slept and its now Thursday morning] A nurse pokes her head in the room and advises me that I should go to the bathroom so that I have a comfortable ride. I tell her I don't have to go and she advises me that I am on my way to Philly, about a 2 hour ride, and the ambulance WILL NOT stop for me to use the restroom... WHAT???!!!
A few moments later 3 folk appear and advise me I am going to PPI in Harrisburg after i was just told I was going to Philly. When I no longer have a choice I get up and go out and lump myself onto the gurney. The big fat man at my feet told me that would be enough of that and he of course received a few choice words from me that also involved me telling him that if he thought he was scary just cuz he was big he was talkin' to the wrong sister.. he didn't scare me one bit. He then fires back that he is going to get a restraining order.. WHAT??!! o-O Seriously and I advise him that I know he can't do that just cuz I got on the gurney in a way that he didn't want me to and that i would have to have touched him for him to get a restraining order and I did no such thing.. he had no grounds.
I took my ambulance ride over to the hospital. I was informed that I did not have to answer or do anything I did not want to... however they failed to mention; as i would later find out, that in doing so it would be held against me (as I mentioned earlier) when they went to petition the courts on my behalf and would keep me involuntarily incarcerated in a mental institution for a longer period of time. I then filled out paperwork&told them that on all of the days in question I spent time w/ people, while under the influence of the extra Valium, that could vouch for the fact that I was fine. I was not slurring my words, walking unbalanced, driving badly or suicidal. Those statements from those people on my behalf bought me my freedom so that I only had to stay 120 hours.
I did not eat for 4 days while I was there. I had intended to fast the entire time as it seemed the one thing I could control, but the smell of the food finally got to me on Sunday and I had dinner Sunday night after not having a bite to eat since the prior Tuesday. I got my clothes back after 24 hours and my shoes minus laces plus a plastic grip tag to help tighten them on my feet.
When i told the psychiatrist that I wanted to be on less meds and that I had asked MY psychiatrist to do so and she would not he was very puzzled and asked why. I told him that she said that what I had seemed to be working so why mess w/ it? That perplexed him and so HE changed my meds for me.
I won't bore you w/ the details of this whole incarceration; you can see me privately and I'll be happy to share my experience. I just wanted to make you aware of how quickly your freedoms can be removed from you and you have NOTHING you can do about it and this is supposed to be the free-est country on the planet. Think about it. Think about who and what you vote for. Think about not only how your vote affects you but also how it affects others.
On Wed. May 21 I went to Holy Spirit hospital to look into an intensive outpatient program for more intense therapy after learning that my unemployment checks would no longer be coming in the mail leaving me w/ ZERO income. During the course of the inpatient program you meet w/ various therapists for various activities and you meet w/ your psychiatrist (med Dr). In therapy 1, I was pulled to meet w/ mine and during the course of our conversation she happened to ask me if I was taking the 10 mg of prescribed Valium still at bedtime to help me sleep. Being the honest person that I try and claim to be I told her that over the course of the prior 5 days I had exceeded the recommended dosage, but had been fine. Walked, talked, drove, was in church, had witnesses blah, blah, blah. She told me that she could no longer prescribe it for me and I was basically like "DUH" I could see that coming. All seemed fine and I left and went back to group.
At 2nd group (just as at 1st) I had alerted the therapist that I would not be returning for the afternoon as I had important appointments that needed to be taken care of.. besides I had not even committed to the program.. but anyway.. I left at lunch to go about my afternoon errands and a few hours later received a call from a number not familiar to me. I let it go to VM and then I listened to the VM and it was my med Dr telling me it was urgent that I get in touch w/ her. I called her right away and didn't get her so I left a message. 13 minutes later she returns my call to tell me that she was doing a "302" on me and that I had to get to the hospital by 4 p.m. or the cops were going to come pick me up and bring me in.
Now, for those of you who are not familiar w/ a "302" it is when "someone has observed your conduct and feels that you present a clear danger to yourself or to other people. W/in so many hours you will be examined by a physician. If the Dr finds that you do not need treatment you will be returned to whatever place you desire w/in reason. If the Dr agrees that you are mentally ill and clearly in danger of harming yourself or someone else, you will be [involuntarily] admitted by the county administrator for a period of treatment UP TO 120 hours" (=5days). Then under my Bill of Rights it states:
"If you have been involuntarily committed in accordance w/ civil court proceedings and you are not receiving treatment, and you are not dangerous to yourself or others, and you feel you can survive safely in the community, you have the right to be discharged from the facility."
Here's a few things that are VERY wrong w/ this situation and how my freedoms as an American citizen were infringed upon. 1st... according to the 14th amendment the individual MUST BE EXHIBITING behavior that is a danger to themselves or others in order to be held. The hold must be for evaluation only and a court order must be received for more than very short term treatment or hospital (typically NO LONGER than 72 hours)------------if I was exhibiting behavior that made me a danger to myself or others why did the Dr let me leave her office to begin with? AND if I was a danger to myself or others why did she instruct me to operate a motor vehicle to bring myself into the ER? Plus, I was never given a 72 hour option it was 120 hours or longer.
Next is my 5th amendment violation. I was not free to remain silent. When you remain silent they use it against you (as per my psychiatrist when I was in the hospital) as proof of mental illness and then can incarcerate you involuntarily for a longer period of time. W/ each time they go back to court the time frame increases and be increased to 12 months and you have NO RIGHTS TO STOP IT!
* They were supposed to provide me w/ transportation by law to the ER. I was not to be transporting myself.
* A Dr MUST examine me in the ER. Never happened. He came in, sat on the plastic cot and said that he agreed w/ my med Dr and they would be admitting me.
* I received no papers on the "White Paper" court order that I was to receive
* I was not given the right to an individual examiner. There are 2 examiners and by law I have the right to choose one of them, meaning I could have chosen my own therpist and was denied that right
* For and EMERGENCY admission by law the Dr is to have OBSERVED MY ACTIONS FIRST HAND which she did not. She was merely going by what I had told her AND I had NOT USED that day... just the 5 days prior
* I was to have a court appointed attorney and I never got one
* In order to involuntarily commit they have to have reason to believe that I cannot care for myself, be safe in the community or will die w/in 30 days if not admitted.
* It was reported that I threw my phone at the check-in nurse when in all actuality I simply dropped it onto a chair from about 4 inches high up after i was advised I would not be allowed to have it while incarcerated. People w/ power can make your life miserable if they want to and there's nothing you can do about it and of course who are they going to believe? The nurse or the "crazy"person?
So, how free are we REALLY in the great US of A? From what I experienced your freedoms can be yanked so fast it will make your head spin, turn your world topsy-turvy and make you feel more depressed than you felt when you were free. If you didn't want to die before you were incarcerated you would after being locked away.
When you are "302'd" and you arrive at the ER this was my experience. I was taken back to the looney room. It's not padded, but it has a plastic cot-like "bed" in the middle of the room bolted down w/ a thin "mattress" and a sheet and blanket on top. There are 2 security cameras to watch you, a red buzzer when you need someone and a very narrow glass in the door by which you have to voice your needs.. mabe 3 inches wide. When you arrive a security officer brings you paper scrubs and tells you to change into them and ONLY if you ask will they escort you to the bathroom to have privacy to change, otherwise it is expected that you change in the looney room w/ an open glass on the door and 2 security cameras watching you. After they have taken your belongings and clothes they also take your shoes away from you. I was fortunate enough that my guard let me have pen and paper to which I could journal the whole time I was in there lest I REALLY go bonkers on someone and was allowed my phone.. even charging it for me about 2 in the morning.
They come in and they take your vitals. My BP was 158/98 since I was in distress it's no wonder. No one told me I had to pee in a cup but they did take 3 vials of blood which I am happy to report [and which should have been proof] there was nothing wrong w/ my blood except my white cells were slightly elevated and they concurred that was from stress...HELLO that should tell you right there I don't need to be here. If I was committing a slow suicide, which is what they were alleging then there w/b drugs in my system.. dontcha think?
I sat calmly writing for hours on end. When I finally did get up to be escorted to the bathroom no one advised me that "Hey, we need some of that in a cup" until about 15 minutes after I was escorted back to my room. I know this is TMI but I have to tell to get my point across. I have a tank for a bladder and I don't drink nearly enough liquids so generally i go to the bathroom 2-3 times a day and that's it.. so when the nurse came in to tell me she needed me to pee in a cup I told her it was going to be a long wait.
A few hours more passed and a crotchety old nurse came in advising me that I had been there for 6 hours and had not given them a urine sample and I advised her that if her staff had done their job and told me that they could have had it hours ago. She then proceeds to tell me if I don't pee in a cup they are giving me a catheter and I proceed to tell her that I will not be getting a catheter and I'd like to see her get my legs uncrossed to give me one.
Finally one of the staff from crisis comes in w/ 3 cups of water... ICE WATER... I DON'T drink ice water it make me feel icky and I hate the way it feels, it bothers me. Ask anyone who knows me.. my water is room temp and if its too cold in a bottle I will microwave it. So I tell her this and she tells me she not running a restaurant. I wait for the ice to melt and water to warm and its just not happening so I proceed to scoop all the ice out of all 3 cups and put it on the bed... yes I was being defiant.. I was beyond pissed at this whole ordeal! I drank the water and then when I STILL didn't have to go I rubbed all the ice cubes left on the bed over my face, neck, arms, and back trying to make myself cold enough to have to go to the bathroom for these creepers. Finally after that and walking for what seemed to be about 20 minutes I buzzed for them to escort me to the bathroom w/ my cup in hand (can I just say YUCK?)
The rest was a waiting game until a little after 7 a.m. [mind you I have not eaten since Tuesday nor have I slept and its now Thursday morning] A nurse pokes her head in the room and advises me that I should go to the bathroom so that I have a comfortable ride. I tell her I don't have to go and she advises me that I am on my way to Philly, about a 2 hour ride, and the ambulance WILL NOT stop for me to use the restroom... WHAT???!!!
A few moments later 3 folk appear and advise me I am going to PPI in Harrisburg after i was just told I was going to Philly. When I no longer have a choice I get up and go out and lump myself onto the gurney. The big fat man at my feet told me that would be enough of that and he of course received a few choice words from me that also involved me telling him that if he thought he was scary just cuz he was big he was talkin' to the wrong sister.. he didn't scare me one bit. He then fires back that he is going to get a restraining order.. WHAT??!! o-O Seriously and I advise him that I know he can't do that just cuz I got on the gurney in a way that he didn't want me to and that i would have to have touched him for him to get a restraining order and I did no such thing.. he had no grounds.
I took my ambulance ride over to the hospital. I was informed that I did not have to answer or do anything I did not want to... however they failed to mention; as i would later find out, that in doing so it would be held against me (as I mentioned earlier) when they went to petition the courts on my behalf and would keep me involuntarily incarcerated in a mental institution for a longer period of time. I then filled out paperwork&told them that on all of the days in question I spent time w/ people, while under the influence of the extra Valium, that could vouch for the fact that I was fine. I was not slurring my words, walking unbalanced, driving badly or suicidal. Those statements from those people on my behalf bought me my freedom so that I only had to stay 120 hours.
I did not eat for 4 days while I was there. I had intended to fast the entire time as it seemed the one thing I could control, but the smell of the food finally got to me on Sunday and I had dinner Sunday night after not having a bite to eat since the prior Tuesday. I got my clothes back after 24 hours and my shoes minus laces plus a plastic grip tag to help tighten them on my feet.
When i told the psychiatrist that I wanted to be on less meds and that I had asked MY psychiatrist to do so and she would not he was very puzzled and asked why. I told him that she said that what I had seemed to be working so why mess w/ it? That perplexed him and so HE changed my meds for me.
I won't bore you w/ the details of this whole incarceration; you can see me privately and I'll be happy to share my experience. I just wanted to make you aware of how quickly your freedoms can be removed from you and you have NOTHING you can do about it and this is supposed to be the free-est country on the planet. Think about it. Think about who and what you vote for. Think about not only how your vote affects you but also how it affects others.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Motivational Mondays Week 20: No status updates on FB for a week
20 weeks ago on a quest in 2014 to face some fears and mainly move out of my comfort zones I began Motivational Mondays. I'm hoping to grow in many areas by embarking on this journey. I have heard that your amount of growth is directly related to how uncomfortable you are willing to get. Join me this year as I get uncomfortable and get up off my duff.
So, on week 20 I decided to tackle #9: No status updates on FB for a week
For those of you on my friends list you know that I love to update. I love to tell my happy news, my sad news, what I'm watching on TV news, emotional news, random news, family news, friends news, bad date news.... basically if it's happening in my life it's considered newsworthy enough to be a FB post.
So, when I had to embrace the challenge of NO FB updates for a week.. I figured that my only way to be safe would to be to stay off FB.
Unluckily, I was locked up in the local psych ward for 5 days which ended up making me lucky as it came to this challenge and I am proud to say that from May 8th thru May 18th I had NO FB status updates.
I successfully attained this goal and can say that.. not getting on FB was the key.. and being locked up didn't hurt either.
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" This rates a 5.
Just 38 more to go... Here's what's left:
1. Do not sit in the back row at church.
2. Do not sit alone in the back row at church.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
4. Audition for a stage show.
5. Go out to eat alone.
6. Do not eat in bed for one day.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
9. Post NO STATUS UPDATES on Fb for a week.
10. Write a very personal song and share it with someone.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
12. Sit in a chair instead of being on the comfy sofa for one week of therapy.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
15. Divulge something personal I have never told anyone before.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
17. Go out to eat with someone (non family) and not ask to be hidden away in a booth somewhere.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
19. No texting (except my therapist) for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
21. Hug a stranger.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert from scratch to share at work.
24. Go one week eating nothing from a can.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
28. Iron clothes for an hour straight
29. No FB for a week.
30. Go one week w/o eating leftovers
31. Wear something leg revealing
32. Go to work one day with no make-up on
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
40. Wear my rings on opposite fingers
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
44. Use no emoticons for one week
45. Use no abbreviations or special characters when I journal for a day
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Have lunch in the cafeteria at work for 1 week
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Consume 20 grams of protein everyday for a week
52. Eat fruit everyday for a week
So, on week 20 I decided to tackle #9: No status updates on FB for a week
For those of you on my friends list you know that I love to update. I love to tell my happy news, my sad news, what I'm watching on TV news, emotional news, random news, family news, friends news, bad date news.... basically if it's happening in my life it's considered newsworthy enough to be a FB post.
So, when I had to embrace the challenge of NO FB updates for a week.. I figured that my only way to be safe would to be to stay off FB.
Unluckily, I was locked up in the local psych ward for 5 days which ended up making me lucky as it came to this challenge and I am proud to say that from May 8th thru May 18th I had NO FB status updates.
I successfully attained this goal and can say that.. not getting on FB was the key.. and being locked up didn't hurt either.
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" This rates a 5.
So, @ the end of the 20th week of Motivational Mondays I am proud to say I have achieved my goal and can cross it off the list.
Just 38 more to go... Here's what's left:
1. Do not sit in the back row at church.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert from scratch to share at work.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
29. No FB for a week.
31. Wear something leg revealing
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Have lunch in the cafeteria at work for 1 week
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Consume 20 grams of protein everyday for a week
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Motivational Monday Week 19: Hug a Stranger
19 weeks ago on a quest in 2014 to face some fears and mainly move out of my comfort zones I began Motivational Mondays. I'm hoping to grow in many areas by embarking on this journey. I have heard that your amount of growth is directly related to how uncomfortable you are willing to get. Join me this year as I get uncomfortable and get up off my duff.
So, on week 19 I decided to tackle #21. Hug a Stranger
Well, this particular challenge I was NOT looking forward too at all, I have my space bubble and I don't like it being invaded by strangers, or certain relatives..but that's a whole other blog. I had no idea how I was going to meet it other than seeing myself randomly running up and hugging a stranger at the mall or something and then trying to get away before they could find someone to tell them they felt they had somehow been assaulted or victimized. No matter how I looked at it, it wasn't looking good for me. I also looked for a baby that was a stranger.. that was an easy out and not REALLY meeting the challenge, cuz there is nothing uncomfortable about hugging a baby..stranger or not.
I, however had the unfortunate opportunity to be locked up against my will at a local looney bin and it was there that I met a really nice nurse and we bonded over of all things....sneakers. I told her about how comfortable mine were if she ever considered switching brands and she came back to my room and checked them out and tried one on and was smitten w/ the sneaker. She said "you came in here because you*** needed my help and you ended up helping me!" and she came over and gave me a BIG hug and said goodbye since she wasn't going to be there the following day when I was getting discharged.
***Just clarifying that I didn't "need" to be in there.. someone got it ALLLLLLLL wrong, but I promise that story in an upcoming blog so that you can read how easily your freedoms can be removed from you in the great USofA
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" This rates a 5.
Just 38 more to go... Here's what's left:
1. Do not sit in the back row at church.
2. Do not sit alone in the back row at church.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
4. Audition for a stage show.
5. Go out to eat alone.
6. Do not eat in bed for one day.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
9. Post NO STATUS UPDATES on Fb for a week.
10. Write a very personal song and share it with someone.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
12. Sit in a chair instead of being on the comfy sofa for one week of therapy.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
15. Divulge something personal I have never told anyone before.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
17. Go out to eat with someone (non family) and not ask to be hidden away in a booth somewhere.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
19. No texting (except my therapist) for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
21. Hug a stranger.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert from scratch to share at work.
24. Go one week eating nothing from a can.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
28. Iron clothes for an hour straight
29. No FB for a week.
30. Go one week w/o eating leftovers
31. Wear something leg revealing
32. Go to work one day with no make-up on
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
40. Wear my rings on opposite fingers
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
44. Use no emoticons for one week
45. Use no abbreviations or special characters when I journal for a day
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Have lunch in the cafeteria at work for 1 week
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Consume 20 grams of protein everyday for a week
52. Eat fruit everyday for a week
So, on week 19 I decided to tackle #21. Hug a Stranger
Well, this particular challenge I was NOT looking forward too at all, I have my space bubble and I don't like it being invaded by strangers, or certain relatives..but that's a whole other blog. I had no idea how I was going to meet it other than seeing myself randomly running up and hugging a stranger at the mall or something and then trying to get away before they could find someone to tell them they felt they had somehow been assaulted or victimized. No matter how I looked at it, it wasn't looking good for me. I also looked for a baby that was a stranger.. that was an easy out and not REALLY meeting the challenge, cuz there is nothing uncomfortable about hugging a baby..stranger or not.
I, however had the unfortunate opportunity to be locked up against my will at a local looney bin and it was there that I met a really nice nurse and we bonded over of all things....sneakers. I told her about how comfortable mine were if she ever considered switching brands and she came back to my room and checked them out and tried one on and was smitten w/ the sneaker. She said "you came in here because you*** needed my help and you ended up helping me!" and she came over and gave me a BIG hug and said goodbye since she wasn't going to be there the following day when I was getting discharged.
***Just clarifying that I didn't "need" to be in there.. someone got it ALLLLLLLL wrong, but I promise that story in an upcoming blog so that you can read how easily your freedoms can be removed from you in the great USofA
Level of uncomfortable-ness on a scale of 1-10, 1 being slightly uncomfortable and 10 being "I am only doing this for my readers and will never attempt this again" This rates a 5.
So, @ the end of the 19th week of Motivational Mondays I am proud to say I have achieved my goal and can cross it off the list.
Just 38 more to go... Here's what's left:
1. Do not sit in the back row at church.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
9. Post NO STATUS UPDATES on Fb for a week.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert from scratch to share at work.
25. Go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
29. No FB for a week.
31. Wear something leg revealing
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the drive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Have lunch in the cafeteria at work for 1 week
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Consume 20 grams of protein everyday for a week
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