We all have our comfort zones-some more, some less. I have made my comfort zones a way of life for the better part of the last 10-15 years. It wasn't until therapy that I realized I had so many comfort zones. My journey in comfort zone realization began when my therapist suggested I move my laptop out of my room... ??WHAT?? Did you BUMP your head???!!! There IS no other place but using a lap top in a nice comfy bed! You're probably thinking that it's no big deal and you use yours all over the house. Well, since I got my laptop in 2k8 if I was using it at home I was using it in bed! I even got a laptop table with a built in mousepad so that my computer wouldn't overheat sitting on my lap. THIS WAS A BIG DEAL!
As we set forth to work on and eventually conquer some other comfort zones as well as phobias my mind began to think of the many comfort zones that I had and how they had become a way of life. I use the word life loosely because the more aware of my comfort zones I became the more I realized I really wasn't living... I was just existing in the nearly same day to day rut. So, what a perfect time to change that than w/ the start of a New Year.
This week as I perused my list carefully I decided that if I was going to be successful that I should divide and conquer. I am usually NOT a procrastinator and Motivational Mondays would be no exception. I went thru the list and marked all the items that I felt w/b the hardest for me and then I numbered them in the order I think I would like to try to accomplish them and decided to get the icky stuff out of the way. I think there w/b nothing worse than getting to the end of the year with all those holidays and be stuck doing the hardest things on my list so I want to get it done and over with. There are 19 weeks of REALLY, SUPER DOOPER uncomfortable or difficult items for me to conquer so it looks like 2014 is going to start off grossly uncomfortable. With the exception of this week that's my goal. This week I did not choose one of the 19 cuz what I chose I only have a few options a year for, so I decided to get it out of the way now not knowing if or when I will have another chance this year.
So, week 1, Motivational Mondays I have decided to conquer #4--Audition for a stage show. I love the stage. I love to look at it, I love to watch shows on it but most of all I like to perform on it! However, it has been over a decade since I have done a show or auditioned for that matter with the 2k9 exception when I auditioned for America's Got Talent in NYC. So here is how my audition went. First of all I am auditioning for Clue: The Musical. I think there are 8 characters total and only 3 of them are women. I have never played the game so I haven't a clue-pun intended-about the game so I'm already starting off lost. My journey begins Wednesday, January 8, 2014 @ appx. 4:30 p.m.when I arrived at Harrisburg Christian Performing Arts Theatre formerly known as YFC (Youth For Christ). The auditions weren't until 6:30 but I didn't want to fight the evening commuters in traffic getting there and I wanted to be there first. Perhaps I would get to audition first and get it done and over with. I LOVE doing shows... I LOATHE auditioning! I waited in the car, in the cold, spying on a blonde haired cutie milling around every so often. At 5:30 some people arrive and they go inside so I decide to do the same.I enter the building and as I get a peek at the stage my heart jumped with delight. I hadn't realized how much I was missing this atmosphere. I took a seat and when the blonde man appeared I immediately go into "I know I am really early but is it ok for me to wait in here?" He looks puzzled and then asks me if I am here for Clue? I answer "yes" and he very apologetically tells me that there has been a short hold on the show and that auditions w/b Monday or Tuesday of next week. BUMMER!
So I didn't actually achieve the goal that I set out to do , but I gave it my best shot and will make my attempts again next week. However, the week was not a total fail. I ended up accomplishing #10 --Write a very personal song and share it with someone--
After much deliberation and him-hauling around I finally got the courage to share my song. You may find this odd, but singing in front of one person is WAYYYY worse than singing in front of 100 or 1,000. Fewer people terrify me ! So, not only was I stepping out of my comfort zone to share something very personal I was stepping out of my comfort zone and sharing it one on one. As I stared at my song in my notebook I determined that I would let them read the song lyrics, get their reaction before I put myself out there singing it. This ended up being a very wise choice that put me a little more at ease when they told me "it was very lovely". My thoughts raced, my heart pounded and I felt they deserved to hear it with the music so I took a deep breath and asked "Do you want to hear the music?" With a hearty "Sure!" I had put myself on the spot. Well, here goes nothing. I eeked out the song messing up the beginning of the 2nd verse but simply continuing and not making the disappointed faces I usually make and went on to complete the song. They said "That's really very beautiful." WHEW! I had EXTREME jitters but it wasn't the "Nightmare On Elm Street" that I had imagined it could be.
I had reservations about sharing the song. There was this battle between my heart and my head and I battled it for a week. My heart said that it w/b fine to share the song and my head argued that it c/b misinterpreted. After a week of this battle in my head I was asked "Which one usually serves you better? Acting on what's in your heart or acting on what's in your head?" That was a no-brainer and I answered "most definitely my heart." and with that being said I decided to trust my instincts, stop this raging war in my head, make myself vulnerable and share the song...my personal sentiments set to music.
So, @ the end of the 1st week of Motivational Mondays I am proud to say I have achieved my goal and can cross it off the list.
Just 51 more to go... Here's what's left:
1. Do not sit in the back row at church.
2. Do not sit alone in the back row at church.
3. Introduce myself to someone at church I don't know.
4. Audition for a stage show.
5. Go out to eat alone.
6. Do not eat in bed for one day.
7. Do not eat in bed for one week.
8. Go one day without getting on the internet.
9. Post NO STATUS UPDATES on Fb for a week.
11. Use of the computer is restricted to the dining room downstairs for one week or if I move.. anywhere in the house except the bedroom.
12. Sit in a chair instead of being on the comfy sofa for one week of therapy.
13. Spend one evening watching TV downstairs.
14. Spend one week watching TV downstairs.
15. Divulge something personal I have never told anyone before.
16. Eat lunch at work in front of my peers.
17. Go out to eat with someone (non family) and not ask to be hidden away in a booth somewhere.
18. Go w/o nail polish, even clear, for one week.
19. No texting (except my therapist) for one week.
20. Do not stay in bed past 9 a.m. on a Saturday.
21. Hug a stranger.
22. Invite someone over to my place and cook them dinner.
23. Make a dessert from scratch to share at work.
24. Go one week eating nothing from a can.
25. go one week eating nothing purchased pre-prepared.
26. Try a new seafood.
27. Cook a meal for Mom and Mike.
28. Iron clothes for an hour straight
29. No FB for a week.
30. Go one week w/o eating leftovers
31. Wear something leg revealing
32. Go to work one day with no make-up on
33. Write left handed for a day
34. Give $20 to a stranger
35. Pay for the persons order behind me at the derive thru
36. Bless someone I know with at least $100
37. Cook dinner for my pastor and his wife
38. Go one day w/o using the microwave
39. Go 1 week w/o using the microwave
40. Wear my rings on opposite fingers
41. Get another piercing
42. Get another tattoo or get mine fixed
43. Dress up on dress down Friday
44. Use no emoticons for one week
45. Use no abbreviations or special characters when I journal for a day
46. No abbreviations or special characters when journaling for a week.
47. No use of color for one week
48. Have lunch in the cafeteria at work for 1 week
49. Take a local unfamiliar road and see where it leads
50. Have lunch with a co-worker
51. Consume 20 grams of protein everyday for a week
52. Eat fruit everyday for a week
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